Ghost Trainer
Hold left/right of the token to steer. Thread cyan gates, grab gold tokens, dodge pink spikes.
How Ghost Trainer Works
You are a single token doing gradient descent down a fixed, deterministic course — same gates, same tokens, same spikes, every single run. That is the whole point: the course never changes, so the only variable is you.
- Hold or drag to the left/right of your token to steer it that way; release to coast
- Thread the cyan gates for points; clipping a gate post costs you
- Scoop up gold tokens for bonus reward
- Dodge the pink spikes — a hit ends your run early
- Reach the bottom faster and richer than the ghosts beside you
Who Are The Ghosts?
The purple ghost is a statistical composite of everyone's mediocrity: the average user, replayed as an async trace. It does not improve. It cannot improve. It is the mean and the mean is forever. The green ghost is your own previous best run — also, statistically, kind of mediocre, but it's yours.
The Percentile
When you finish, we drop your score onto a bundled distribution of synthetic player scores and tell you what percent of the population you out-descended. It is not real telemetry. It is a vibe encoded as a number, which is most of ML anyway.
Slop Fact: An "average player" ghost is just a model trained to regress to the mean, deployed with no further fine-tuning. Beating it is technically beating the base rate, which is more than most production systems manage.